Sunday, March 2, 2014

Smart Words and Sundays

"The world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday. That's guaranteed. I can't begin to explain that. Or the craziness inside myself and everyone else. But guess what? Sunday's my favorite day again. I think of what everyone did for me, and I feel like a very lucky guy."-Silver Linings Playbook 

I love you mama, baba, B, and Pilgrim

Entertainment Recap!

Here’s a recap of everything you’ve been missing in the entertainment-sphere if you’ve been hiding under a rock-no judgment here.

Downton Abbey’s U.S. premiere of season 4 just wrapped.  The furtive, longing glances were just as good as ever.  I won’t reveal any spoilers but the important thing is that Mary has 50 suitors (just a bunch, no big deal) and poor Edith is still alone.  #feelinlikeedith

This awards season is truly exciting, with fantastic, dynamic performances from the ones in 12 Years a Slave to American HustleJennifer Lawrence is still supremely charming and my vote for girl crush-if only she actually ate as much as she professes to, then she would be perfect.  Lupita Nyong’o is the most beautiful being that has ever appeared on this earth, on point with all her fashion choices.  If they don’t make a Barbie or some sort of doll-replica of her soon I’ll be shocked.  Matthew McConaughey’s random speeches add to the fun although they are slightly grating (here’s to hoping Leo takes the Oscar).  “Alriiiiight, alriiiiight, alriiiiiiight.”

One award that Matthew McConaughey should win for his immense comeback?  An Emmy.  He is brilliant in HBO’s True Detective, a show with as intense and dark an ambiance as McConaughey’s character himself.  Seriously, though, that Quaaludes scene alone makes Leonardo DiCaprio deserve the Oscar.  His extreme difficulty going down the stairs reminded me a bit too much of myself after midterms.  Can’t. Make. It. To. Dorm. Too. Defeated.  If Pink does some of the acrobatic wonders she did at the Grammys I am going to cry tears of wonder and jealousy.  As long as it’s not like that year Beyonce sang every single nominated song.  I’m not sure Ellen DeGeneres (host this year of the Oscars) will push the envelope as much as Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, though.  Must I remind you of the now-classic lines: “’Gravity’ is nominated for best film. It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age.” And, of course: “”Like a supermodel’s vagina, let’s all give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio.”

After the sad excuse for an Olympics I’m looking forward to the return of new episodes.  Then I’ll finally be able to stop hating myself for watching The Bachelor’s Juan Pablo.  Don’t judge man, it was between that and curling.

Like air hockey, but sadder?
An exciting book-to-film is coming out this summer!  No, not Fifty Shades of Grey, I do have some dignity…it’s The Fault in Our Stars!  Shailene Woodley plays Hazel (or as Augustus lovingly calls her, Hazel Grace)-proving that one can star in an incredibly banal show, The Secret Life of the American Teenager, and still be a good actress.

Speaking of ABC Family shows, there is no shame here when I recap the latest on Pretty Little Liars.  It’s the most tweeted about show, I’ll have you know.  Basically, Ezra, the high school teacher, turns out to be just a regular creepster, not an evil genius creepster, which was incredibly disappointing and infuriating.  He did provide possibly the best excuse of all time though (which I will be using as I write my final papers): “I was writing a true crime novel.”  KThx.

Aria finds out how much of a bad writer Ezra really is.

If you’re actually looking for a smart show, may I recommend The Good Wife?  With its spitfire writing, power-house acting, and complex turns it may be the smartest show on right now.  That’s saying a lot, as TV is more like a stimulating lube tube right now for the mind, with provocative shows like Girls, Breaking Bad, and Homeland, than its previously condescending title.
If you’re looking for some cute/smart fun Parks and Recreation is still the most underrated quirk of a comedy gem The Mindy Project is also back with a vengeance this season, funnier than ever with absurd shenanigans-including a sexting fiasco gone wrong.

True dat.
Finally, I would be remiss not to mention a couple of things that are guaranteed to brighten up any winter blues.  I mean guaranteed.  First off is The Lego Movie-one of the most clever and genuinely funny animated films in a long time.  Second, I have two words for you:  Broad City.  My sister turned me on to this new show, full of the most awkward hilarity, basically an unpolished Girls.  Perhaps the best episode so far is “Working Girls” when Abbi, one of the main characters, goes to retrieve a package for her apartment crush.  The lengths that must be traveled-man we feel you (fake cough Student Services, just saying).

Alas, we come to the end…of my procrastination.  Enjoy the Oscars tonight!

Pilgrim in a Cart, Pilgrim in a Bag...

He liked the shopping cart...
The shopping bag...not so much.

Thank You Note

Jimmy Fallon's hilarious and spot-on thank you notes inspired me to write this.

Thank you, Sticky Fingers aka person who stole my labeled ice cream sandwiches from the communal dorm freezer, for ruining a happy Friday.  TGIF quickly turned to WTF when the following happened:

I watched a movie with a girlfriend Thursday night (The Heat what what) and we bought ice cream cookie sandwiches to enjoy.  They were delicious.  In fact I stopped myself from eating two because I felt like that was too much.  I thought hey I'll save a couple for tomorrow, etc.  The next day I go to get one of said sandwiches because I couldn't be good anymore and lo and behold my horror.  I open the communal dorm freezer to find the ice cream sandwich box (labeled mind you)...empty.  Not only did you eat the sandwiches that were left, and when you did this I shall never know as I put them in at midnight and returned early the next morning, you left an empty box as if to rub salt into my wound, my poor icecreamless wound. 

I thought of writing a passive aggressive note and taping it to the fridge, something along the lines of...
Hey jerkhat, I hope you enjoyed the ice cream.  Next time throw out the box.  If you want anything else please let me know and I would be happy to get it for myself, label it, and put it inside the fridge for you.  Did you sneak out of the kitchen with the ice cream sandwiches in hand or did you wave them around like you just don't care?  Perhaps there is more than one of you.  Maybe you enjoyed the ice cream sandwiches together, evilly twirling your mustaches (whether you're a guy or girl).  If you're the same person who took my chocolate milk boxes and helped yourself to my ice pack then there's a special spot in hell for you.  Oh and by the way, I might or might not have hidden a camera in the kitchen.  Hehehe.

Thanks.  Thanks a lot.

What I lost

Anyhoo, I also considered sending a mean email to the dorm list (I wouldn't be the first to do it).  Finally I decided to do nothing and vent my anger on the internet like any other normal person does.  Tis a messed up world when people steal ice cream sandwiches from labeled boxes and do not even bother to get rid of the evidence.  Tis a sad sad world.

Olivia Wilde's Brilliant Note to Our Future Selves in Glamour

Proving that Olivia Wilde is officially one of our celeb girl crushes (along with JLaw, Lena Dunham, Mindy Kaling, the list goes on and on):

Nail Stickers!!

So, initially I was against nail stickers because I saw them as an affront on my classic beloved nail polish and I had a bad experience with a set from Forever21.

My sister got me this beautiful black and white one, though, with writing and I fell in love.  It lasted almost two weeks and I kept thinking they were going to fall off but they were on there tight.  You have to use nail polish remover to actually take them off.

I'm feeling adventurous now and want to give the Forever21 ones another shot.  I'm thinking the cat or bat ones, hmmm...

Miley Cyrus Bangerz Concert: Flying Hotdogs, Fuzzy Animals, and Much More

There is no hint of irony when I say that I like Miley Cyrus.  She's gutsy and smart, has really cute hair, and has an amazing voice that is completely underestimated.  So when I went to see her this past Tuesday night in San Jose I was freaking out like a total fangirl.

Her show was upbeat and fun and passed by so fast.  She performs all her best songs, including even some forgotten ones (I didn't forget though I say creepily) like "Can't Be Tamed."  She does two covers, "Hey Ya!" (check out the video above) and "Jolene."  Her costumes, designed by Cavalli, were adorable-her body is crazy.  From start, Icona Pop opened for her, to finish, a grand finale of "Party in the USA," Miley gives her all and doesn't disappoint.  I apologize for the fuzziness of the photos, hopefully you can still see some of the awesomesauce that was Bangerz.

That famous tongue

Miley on Miley

This was for the song "FU" with some sort of Snuffleupagus creature

I want that fur coat, like now.

She was in a really pretty full body, black sparkly jumpsuit

She's riding a hotdog.  Not much more to say.

She's closer to us and I screamed like a fool

I mean, a hotdog.  That would be much cooler than the electric scooter I ride to class.


There's that beloved cat and the finale!