Thank You Note

Jimmy Fallon's hilarious and spot-on thank you notes inspired me to write this.

Thank you, Sticky Fingers aka person who stole my labeled ice cream sandwiches from the communal dorm freezer, for ruining a happy Friday.  TGIF quickly turned to WTF when the following happened:

I watched a movie with a girlfriend Thursday night (The Heat what what) and we bought ice cream cookie sandwiches to enjoy.  They were delicious.  In fact I stopped myself from eating two because I felt like that was too much.  I thought hey I'll save a couple for tomorrow, etc.  The next day I go to get one of said sandwiches because I couldn't be good anymore and lo and behold my horror.  I open the communal dorm freezer to find the ice cream sandwich box (labeled mind you)...empty.  Not only did you eat the sandwiches that were left, and when you did this I shall never know as I put them in at midnight and returned early the next morning, you left an empty box as if to rub salt into my wound, my poor icecreamless wound. 

I thought of writing a passive aggressive note and taping it to the fridge, something along the lines of...
Hey jerkhat, I hope you enjoyed the ice cream.  Next time throw out the box.  If you want anything else please let me know and I would be happy to get it for myself, label it, and put it inside the fridge for you.  Did you sneak out of the kitchen with the ice cream sandwiches in hand or did you wave them around like you just don't care?  Perhaps there is more than one of you.  Maybe you enjoyed the ice cream sandwiches together, evilly twirling your mustaches (whether you're a guy or girl).  If you're the same person who took my chocolate milk boxes and helped yourself to my ice pack then there's a special spot in hell for you.  Oh and by the way, I might or might not have hidden a camera in the kitchen.  Hehehe.

Thanks.  Thanks a lot.

What I lost

Anyhoo, I also considered sending a mean email to the dorm list (I wouldn't be the first to do it).  Finally I decided to do nothing and vent my anger on the internet like any other normal person does.  Tis a messed up world when people steal ice cream sandwiches from labeled boxes and do not even bother to get rid of the evidence.  Tis a sad sad world.